The Insecurity in my Life...

My mind was so tired and I always woke up with a headache and always not in the mood for anything. Even been talking less to Snow babe and Valen. Sorry guys! Dun worry too much bout me k, I'm alright.

Maybe is just I'm too tired, too much & too many is going on in my mind....and lots of question been popping up in my mind, but one of the most common question are that people would tend to ask me when they know about my background stories is that "do I plan to find out/want to know who are my own biological parents if I have the chance?" to be honest....I do of course want to know, but then again...I'm not sure.

I've only came to know that I'm an adopted Child from my previous family when I was just at the age of 10. At that time, good or bad...I started to have the most hateful feeling one could ever have towards someone. I hate them not because I got to know I'm adopted, hate them because they insulted my parents at that time.

That's the reason why as the older I get....I began to ponder and wonder, would I ever get to meet them for once in my life? Or....would I see them in a place I never wish to see..? I'm really confuse, the hurts and hatred I have towards someone has grow to make me feel insecure to just believe in anyone and everyone, and is also hard for me to believe in myself sometimes.

Is not that I've not move on in life, I did..slowly walking out of certain things, but the hurts inside is just too hard to forget. Once a scar is left inside, it will always stay there....
I know alot of people been asking me to let it go...but is not easy as that kind of incident spoiled my whole childhood. I did pray hard for breakthrough...but still....I feel is the same.